The Preservation of Dignity

Mom is no different than any other dementia patient desperately trying to hang on to her self-worth and relevance.  It’s difficult and sad to watch other family members or spouses correct their loved one’s “story,” roll their eyes, make fun, or wave them off saying, “Pay no mind, they haven’t a clue what they’re talking about…”

I’m ashamed to admit I used to correct and dismiss some of the things Mom said, or did, before I even knew this was a diagnosed ailment.  I didn’t understand what was going on with her. I was scared and trying to control an uncontrollable situation.  “Truth” was all-important to me all the time. 

I thought my corrections could sweep all that was wrong with Mom into a dustpan, be hidden and disposed of before anyone could see the “truth,” myself included.  Looking back, I wonder what it was I was trying to protect?  My inability to cope with this disease and all that comes with it, or Mom’s inability?

I learned pretty quickly that I should never assume anything about this disease and how it affects a person personally.