The following was written by one of my mentors, Dr. Annette Childs. It is relevant for my life in general as well as my life as a caregiver.
“What hurts you today, will serve you later.”
“This quote is a great reminder that difficulties that may be center stage and all-consuming today will become a much smaller part of our story once we grow beyond them.
Let your wounds be your fuel. In the grand scheme of things, our darkest days always end up forcing us to find our inner light….And often the light we gain becomes a lamp for someone else.
Trust that if it hurts now…. it will serve later.”
-Dr. Annette Childs, RX for The Soul
WHAT IS TRUE FOR ME
Each wound, each hurt, and every stumbling block (listed in our Forgive and Forget “About” page) did, eventually, turn into something that serves me well today, just as the quote above suggests.
For me, to "grow beyond" the many wounds and hurts of caregiving, as well as what Life hurls in my direction on a daily basis, means taking a closer look at each wound and each hurt, fully accepting each one (that doesn’t mean I like it), and then resolving it in a way that will serve me well in the future. This process may take a day, a month, or even years from the beginning of it to its end.
It also means being uncomfortable while the answers find their way to resolution.
I know!!!… Yuk!
In my early years as a caregiver, I was never awarded a gold medal for my patience, nor was I ever awarded a silver medal for sitting with discomfort. I was the one always leading the brigade to find a solution quickly so I could get the hell out of feeling uncomfortable! Even worse, I would run from discomfort. I would bury it, push it down, sweep it under a rug, or be in complete denial so I wouldn’t have to deal with it; i.e., “What elephant? I don’t see any elephant!”
By not dealing with the hurts and wounds, it did get me quick-fix answers, but all that did was either keep me on the perpetual hamster wheel, or land me in more trouble because they were not the right answers.
Consequently, the world just kept hurling the same meteor-sized problems at me, which would just cause the same wounds and the same hurts to continue.
It wasn’t until I slowed down that I came to understand that sitting in the “discomfort” was the proper formula for not only resolving the hurts and wounds, but was also the stepping-stone into my personal growth.
Is this a difficult place to hang out? Absolutely it is. Being uncomfortable is. . . well - - uncomfortable, and frankly, I’d rather be sitting with chocolate, or a beer and a burger, than the discomfort!
It takes a tremendous amount of patience and faith to sit in discomfort and choose identification and consideration in order to resolve whatever caused the wound or the hurt in the first place.
However, I can tell you from experience, when the answers and ideas do find their way into your heart, they heal your hurts and wounds, and they almost always land with precision. These answers and resolutions do become fuel for the future as the quote above states; and that wisdom gleaned from the experience can be shared to help someone else.
Dr. Childs gentle wisdom guided me through the first seven years of caregiving. She put me on the path of acceptance, awareness and patience. Dr. Childs allowed me to find my own answers. She held the lantern while I did the digging. I am forever grateful to her and for her, and I encourage each of you to visit her website.
*Dr. Annette Childs website address is www.drannettechilds.com.
If Dr. Childs words don’t resonate with you, that is okay. The point is, you are searching, and I am proud of you for doing so. Keep searching. I guarantee you will find your own answers relevant to your individual situation.