Suzie, Mom and Me, 1964
Who is Vic?
And why is she here?
A little over thirteen years ago I noticed Mom's encyclopedic mind slipping.
Everyone said I was, "Making too much of it." I wanted to believe that because the alternative was accepting how seriously ill Mom was. But every level of her life and mine was devolving into such instability and chaos, I no longer could ignore the facts of what I was seeing and experiencing.
I felt inept to handle the gravity of this job. Everyone scattered, so no help there. However, they were willing to offer judgment and opinions. I honestly thought I was losing my mind right along with Mom losing hers.
I could have used a resource like this, so I created one for you.
Its contents would have kept me on solid ground rather than veering off into a ditch on a daily basis.
So, I get your struggle and exhaustion. I understand your frustration and grief. Forgive and Forget is here to provide the best information I can find.
All my encouragement, Vic
July 2, 2011, Mom tripped over an area rug landing her headfirst into a cast-iron antique stove. She broke her nose and shattered an eye socket. ER wheeled her in for an MRI and CT Scan, which revealed plaque and atrophy in her brain. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the most common form of dementia.
Mom was masterful in covering up her deficits the first few years. Even at Stages 5-6 today, she is aware something is very wrong. Nine years ago I had to move her to assisted living, which devastated us both. October 2020, I moved her into memory care, which devastated me. Fortunately, this move did not register. She was escorted to a "new" apartment after dinner one night and noticed nothing new. Then there are times she is highly "with it" and aware of her circumstances. Mom still moves in and out of accurate memories, awareness of current realities, and Truth. It's like she lives in a conscious fog. It is very difficult to watch her decline. She's miserable yet the bravest person I know.
Meet the Team
Click a photo or read independently.
Meet Mamo. The Star of this Story. In this photo, she noticed a Mini Mouse hat on her attorney's desk. "My life has turned into SUCH a cartoon," she said, "May I wear it?"
I'm Vic. Proud producer of Forgive and Forget. I am at one of my favorite places, the Reno Air Races. Photo taken just before take-off in a P-51. No, I did not lose my cookies during the ride of my life😏.
Frank Sinatra - in charge of comedic relief. Wrote his thesis on the Minoan Civilization. Has a degree in law and finance. Shakes a mean martini.
Pops in plaid with Ted VonReitzenstein, Thanksgiving 1997. Best laugh on the planet. Loved his "martoonies" and "waudka" tonic's. Architect of residential design, then started Med Express, a non-emergency transportation service for elderly (or any) patient. After that, our Reno Police Department asked him to create S.A.V.E., a Senior Auxillary Volunteer Effort. It was a volunteer patrol service. Med Express and S.A.V.E are still in existence today. He was a super great guy.
Marco was my caregiver. I cried a lot as Mom's caregiver. Still do. Marco always - ALWAYS - came to me and put his head in my lap (Frank leaves the room). Marco is now with his Uncle Polo. Rest in peace my sweet, SWEET dear boy. B. 2007, D. 2021.
Meet Coraline. Rescued Frank and me. Olympic runner. Bakes crostinis and pies. Talkative. Favorite TV shows, "Yellowstone" (because of Kevin Costner & Luke Grimes), and "Downton Abbey," (because of 2 Yellow Labs, "Isis" and "Teo.")
I had the best "seester" evah. Best childhood. She and I shared the same goofy sense of humor. However, everyone chooses their path, has their own perspective and reasons for doing what they do. Mamo and I haven't seen or heard from her in about 9 years now.
One of my favorite photos of Mom and me. 6:00am at the Reno Balloon Races. Mom had just won a ticket to race in a balloon!
"My hope is this website is useful and can be a touchstone for you." -Vic